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If I can change something, how would I do it? I guess, I can do only one thing, and that's admit my weakness.
Well, I have been to all lengths in my life of wanting the best in others. My story is not a new one. I started out by wanting the best for myself. I wanted to be the first honor in class. I wanted to graduate as valedictorian. I wanted to excell in sports and win gold medals in my 5 kilometer running. I wanted to be part of the Math training pool. I wanted to be a chess master. I wanted to be a student leader. A man of power and influence. Yet, no, today, I agree, that it is impossible.
It is impossible to accomplish such. For one reason, it is misguided.
I have went from an achiever to a simple guy... wanting nothing but simplicity. Neglecting responsibilities and neglecting jobs. Acting as if I don't care. Until the day, that I've experienced hell in my life.
I went thru the worst depression in my life. A depression that prompted me to make things happen. A depression that prompted me to reconsider the actions I take and the decisions I make.
Tonight, my actions are well guided... and I am following a star in a night of vast darkness of mysterious potentials. Yet all these different potential outcomes eventually ends up in one ultimate end...
This end, is so mysterious and so overwhelming, that I can not make up a word to [url=http://www.casa-polis.com/barbour-paris.html]veste barbour[/url] accurately refer to it.
I realize that this life of mine... is not mine. This time I am enjoying is not my time. This space I am on... is not my spot. It has an underlying essence in it. What is it?
I want to make others happy. I want to give my all [url=http://www.thehygienerevolution.com/barbourparis.php]barbour[/url] for them. At times, I would reach a point of lying and deceit just to acquire goals like this. But, I have learned a lesson, that if I never get there, then that goal is not essential.
Whatever is essential in our lives would eventually find us. All we have to do, is to have faith and believe. Tonight, I am hoping for a lot of things... things that I have wished for a long time. I have repeatedly said them to myself. And in the past, some has just condemed me to be a man of merely talk. These thoughts and talks are precisely the building blocks of essence!
The [url=http://www.davidhabchy.com]barbour by mail[/url] irony of things is that when I aim for essence, existence elludes me... leaving me a looser in [url=http://www.fayatindia.com/ugg-pas-cher.html]ugg pas cher[/url] the eyes of others when in truth I have essence. And when I'm aiming for existence, essence elludes me... leaving me a people pleaser...
The idealist thought is to get both essence and existence... How do I do so? [url=http://www.jeremyparendt.com/Barbour-Paris.php]barbour france[/url] I have been attempting this ever since and I don't know where I am.
I would like to give up already and say to myself and emanate to others that existence is nothing without essence. Because everything that has existence not necessarily has essence. But everything thas is essential has all the potential to exist.
I would like to start a revolution of people who would pledge to themselves to change themselves for the better. As old ancient philosophy would tell you that, change yourself if you want to change the world.
It is [url=http://www.mxitcms.com/abercrombie/]abercrombie milano[/url] us. Not them. It is you not him. You have to start from yourself. You are the essence that will give existence to their change. If you don't change, no body will.
What is magical about this kind of phenomena, is that when one starts to change, the energy within him... emanates to others... [url=http://www.sandvikfw.net/shopuk.php]hollister outlet sale[/url] And if that other is also trying to change... then the two individual are harmoniously cooperatively building each other's "change" potential.
Change potential is an energey that when harnessed to the fullest can destroy all the enemies of man like disease and poverty and loneliness and depression.
I have started the journey in my life... [url=http://www.fayatindia.com/ugg-pas-cher.html]boots ugg pas cher[/url] within my thoughts... And they are not merely thoughts... [url=http://www.teatrodeoro.com/hollisterde.php]hollister online shop[/url] because these thoughts are the essence of things... Essence that has all the potential to change the world!
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