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Burnside greatest facelift
Frankly, my dears, I do give a damn because I'm worried sick about lerp. I simply hope against hope that the old gum tree in the middle of an extremely bijou shopping centre doesn't succumb to lerp, which is a really yukky waxy secretion caused by psyllids - native jumping lice with long antennae and huge feathery forewings. It could kill that tree and cause chaos within the instantly popular Cibo below.
The great people of Burnside (pronounced "Burnsaide") and gawping tourists in droves don't want lerp dripping to their skinny macchiatos.
I mean . what the foccacia is that? That's not a fascinator in your ash blonde hair, it's leaping lice. Leaping lice (pronounced "laice" in Burnside) aren't very "naice". You know Burnside. Even the rats have gold claws.
Immediately, I should apologise towards the poor people of Burnside. Both of them!
I spent the whole party terrified from the gum tree having sudden limb failure. I kept pulling people I like out of harm's way - even some members of the Liberal Party.
It had been a lively bunfight for 500 lucky folk; the enamelled top end of town, retailers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ring-ins and also the odd pokie baron. Still, nouveau riche is better than no riche whatsoever in Burnside. Real people know better. Orders of Australia glinted within the harsh refracted light of post-affair diamonds.
We were all there with our ears back - some had their whole faces pulled back - for that opening of some fancy shops that have been closed aside from the make-up shop which was open for touch-ups but BYO Botox,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
A quorum of recent, improved Burnside councillors were enjoying the hospitality through the Moet bar. There were chandeliers, stage lights,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], chubby acrobats on cloud swings and also the ADT dancers writhed in white.
Members of the Cohen family, the centre owners,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], spoke at great length but, alas, couldn't be heard in the appalling acoustic from the atrium. This can also annoy spruikers - if you will find any.
Cohen is an honourable old Australian name, as with Cobb and Cohen, which new Burnside Village is really a fitting tribute towards the late Richard Cohen - the patriarch.
Pop star Wendy Matthews sang but nobody much cared or listened over the endless "muw muw" of air-kissing "daaaarlings" and also the slurping of oysters more naturale than their conspicuous consumers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
The models were dreary and trotted like horses but suited the dreary fashion from the Burnside Village boutiques. Where's Phyills Southgate when you need her most,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Whither style,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
The Burnside Village made a great progress way since dear old Demasius and piecemeal malls and ladies who lunch over rocket salads before coping with notoriously toffy shop assistants,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
It now has a feature tree at the reputed cost of $5 million and bless them to save it.
The hospitality was fulsome and excellent as catered by the Hilton with winning waiters; little boxes of drunken chicken, pork belly and I loved the ox tail tarts . and the food, too.
The grog flowed. Curiously a lot of the Moet was swigged from small bottles via a nozzle. Very un-Burnside. Later they ran from champagne flutes too and had for everyone the Moet in wine glasses, but with that point nobody cared and there was sudden limb failure from the human kind.
I examined the brand new Burnside Village on Thursday morning prior to the madding crowd. It's OK,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], especially if you're rich and skinny and like gilets. The atrium is airy and glary and also the carparking is gloriously abundant - Norwood and Rundle Mall take note. There is nothing another Wendy's, a Mister Minit, an inexpensive As Chips, Trims and a Joyrene frock salon couldn't fix.
Worst dressed about the night - well, from my lips to God's ears, but a snakeskin poncho was unequalled and people who must obtain spray tans at Bunnings seem like Oompa Loompas.
Best dressed included the elegant and glamorous Laura Ursino, Anita Puddifoot, Ruth Ketteridge,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Asha Williams, Sue Gardener, Caroline Cordeaux,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Amanda Vinel,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Julia O'Neil,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and Athen Aestas in lavender Carla Zampatti with budgie-blue eyeshadow. Vickie Chapman sported a sleeveless canary-yellow shift with taut upper arms,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], doubtless from all that land clearing at Parndarna.
Vivacious Fay Gerard was the life of the party with bling on her behalf shoes and a strangely elegant ensemble decorated with black plastic fringing.
Channel 7's Melody Horrill oozed glamour in slinky black jersey with a diamond encrusted belt and 8-inch heels.
Emilia Skuza is definitely the most beautiful girl in Adelaide and wore a tangello sheath dress with bandage neckline but the package was merely wrapped. Nova breakfast radio announcer Dan Debuf from Perth wore very tight and perhaps intellectually constricting pants and said "ratings don't matter to me". Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
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